Chapter 15: It’s ok to move on…

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.”
― Tupac Shakur

The reason why I am writing  about this particular topic is because lately  I have noticed that a lot of people are still holding on to the past. It is not their fault as I have been in the same position at some point in my life. Sometimes it is hard to forget the past due to great memories that we’ve had with people that we no longer talk to or, hard to move on from things that once made us happy. However, if it no longer makes us happy, why suffer by constantly living in the past?

Not moving on will only hold us back from the great things that are bound to happen in the future. I believe that most people find it difficult to move on because they are afraid of taking risks and making the same mistakes. They believe that it is not worth wasting time by starting fresh again and ending up in the same position, but life is a gamble. We must realise that nothing will ever be perfect but we should learn how to play the game and always seek for the better.

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Why is it important to move on sometimes?

I believe that the best way to overcome pain is to move on from the past. For example, you might think that nothing better will come along and that once you lose that something or someone your life is over but that is not the case at all. As they say “you live and you learn“, if you don’t move on then you are not really learning from the past.

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Moving on is good for the body, mind and soul…

Once you move on from a toxic situation, you become free from stress which liberates your mind and allows you to start thinking positive thoughts again. It is probably the hardest thing that you will ever have to do because you can’t really control what you are thinking believe me! Even though I have moved on from a lot of things and people, sometimes I still think about the past and it can sometimes ruin part of my day if not, the entire day. This is because certain things have had such a strong impact in our lives that we cannot let it go completely but the best way to overcome this, is by distracting yourself with activities that make you happy.

I believe that it is harder for women to let go completely when they move on from a romantic relationship as we are more sensitive and tend to be more caring than men. This does not mean that there aren’t men that are just as bad. It is just that the majority of the cases the women gets more attached and this can sometimes not be the smartest way to be in a relationship as it can really damage our mental and physical state in the end. Whereas men try to move on so quickly to not suffer the same pain but they end up making it worse for themselves. This is why I see a lot of men who keep changing partners in a short period of time or end up using innocent women just to get over the person that they truly love and they miss the chance to meet someone who could potential make them happier than their previous relationship.

If you feel like you have been doing this then just stop and think about your actions. I hope that I made you realise that there are better ways in dealing with break ups and moving on.

Take a shot in loving again

I would be a hypocrite if I said that you can just love again because it’s not as easy as it sounds. It takes courage, time and effort to make it happen and of course it also depends who you meet. However, there are amazing people out there who will love you for who you are and won’t try to change you as a person and hopefully you will have mutual feelings for them. One thing I also learned is to not force feelings, it doesn’t really work, you will only end up breaking someone else’s heart just to protect your own. Therefore, don’t be afraid to love again but also be cautious and considerate of other people’s feelings! Also, don’t forget if you are falling in love again, you both should know what you want for the future and not waste your time and feelings again.

Well, now
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you

If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots
Remember
That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land
― Pablo Neruda