I am probably the worst person to be giving dating advice as I am still lost in this dating world too 😂 but hey, if you want to listen to Anita and be at risk of losing all your chances in finding “The One”, go ahead, keep reading these thoughts of mine. Nevertheless, it might be helpful too!
1. Deciding on what type of partner you are looking for.
Never ever just go for the physical attraction. So many young people have become too shallow, that the most important feature that they see in their person of interest is the looks. Well, let me tell you something, the beauty from the outside will not reflect the beauty within a person. The relationship will not last because you will eventually clash as their personalities do not match with yours. Also, remember that beauty does not last forever.
I still have no clue on what type of guys I am into but I’m starting to notice a pattern that the guys that I tend to be attracted to, all look very similar and act all very similar too. Therefore, if you do not know, don’t panic, just figure out what are the similarities that you can spot on the people that you tend to be attracted to. However, never date someone that will act the same way as your ex…you are trying to upgrade, not find someone exactly like him/her!
2. You should let things happen naturally.
What I mean by that is, you shouldn’t force relationships, the same way, you shouldn’t force friendships either. You may like someone that is not interested in you, if that is the case, I’m sorry. It is sad but you shouldn’t force them to like you and you should respect their personal preferences. Also, you are beautiful/handsome enough to find someone else who truly appreciates you. It is their loss, not yours. ‘Everyone will always be beautiful to someone.’
I understand that you can love someone that doesn’t love you back, it is probably the worst feeling ever, but is it really love, or is it the idea of being in love? To love someone, they have to love you back…never forget that you are worth more than you could ever imagine. I, myself have been in this situation, loving someone hard enough to the point that I lost myself in the process, but in the end I realise that I deserved so much better than what I was allowing myself to.
Sometimes we do get lonely, and it is ok if we want to go out and look for the right person. However, do not be desperate and rush into things as this so often does not end well. Also, if you just came out of a relationship, do not go around using people as a rebound. It is not moral or a nice thing to do to someone, it is selfish and childish. You must repair yourself before finding someone new to share your life with.
It is vital that you are aware that there will always be arguments in any relationship, no matter how well you get on with someone. In order to prevent some arguments to take place, communication should be established in both sides. It is important to understand and listen to your partner. If things get heated, be the bigger person and remove yourself from the situation, take a break, have a Kit Kat.
4. Don’t give up easily.
“The grass is not always greener on the other side.”
A lot of you men give up easily, yes…I mean you men. This is not me speaking as a feminist, this is me speaking as a woman who has experienced this problem and has watched many relationships where men have given up easily on their relationships then regretted it. Of course many women do too, but it is mainly men.
Some people cannot handle when there is pressure in their relationship, they are not strong enough to survive through trying times, so they believe that it is much easier to let go and start fresh with someone else. People like that tend to jump from one relationship to another very quick and in the end they end up alone because they just don’t know how to act in a relationship.
My advice is, don’t be one of those people. Try hard to fix your relationship as time and effort are big investments to just throw it all away, of course if the relationship is already damaged to the point that it cannot be fixed, then fair enough.
Cases like infidelity and loss of trust and commitment are things that cannot be fixed in a relationship, even if you move past it, it will always be there, which will cause further arguments in the future. This is why we see a lot of older married couples that have been together for decades and they end up getting a divorce because they were unhappy for so many years. It is a waste of a life time.
5. Loyalty and trust
As stated before, there is no relationship if loyalty and trust is gone. Hence why you should always be loyal to your partner and trust them if they do not give you any reasons for you to be paranoid and insecure.
Security is important in a relationship. Now ladies, have in mind that having a ring on your finger does not necessarily mean ‘security’, and men this does not mean that you don’t have to propose at some point in your life if you want a traditional relationship with your other half. I believe that, anyone is entitled to decide whether they want to spend the rest of their lives without being married or if they want to take that extra step and tie the knot. However, security in a relationship is a must.
I hate when some people think that it is ok to lead someone on and then, tell the person that they don’t want to get serious with them. If you don’t want a serious relationship with someone, that should be the first thing you tell them before doing whatever you are planning to do with them. So many people get heart broken because they are filled with so much hope and fake promises. It is disgusting, do not do that because you wouldn’t like it if someone did that to your friends or to a member of your family.
If you take these points into consideration, you might notice that you can potentially have a great relationship with your significant other. Nevertheless, it takes two to tango.
“Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can’t help falling in love with you?”
– Elvis Presley
I hope you find your soul mate, life is too short to be lonely. Thank you for taking time of your day to read this post. Don’t forget to comment, hit the like button and share 🙂 .
Love Nini xoxo