Chapter 3: If you’re going through hell, keep going

“Did you really want to die?”

“No one commits suicide because they want to die.”

“Then why do they do it?”

“Because they want to stop the pain.”

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As I am writing this, tears flow. Not because I am weak but because I am strong enough to pick myself up over and over again when life throws me a few lemons, or should I say “when people do it”. My heart breaks just knowing that some people feel like they do not belong in this world and that they don’t deserve to live. My advice to my audience is, just remember that you are worth it, and that you deserve to live, but most of all you deserve to be happy. If Nature brought you into this world it is because you have a purpose, you choose which paths to take because life is like a game. Some win and some lose, but NEVER EVER feel defeated and try again.

So…what makes us give up on life?

♥ Point 1: Sometimes it gets hard because enough is enough, but is it the right path to take? If you feel this way, it is completely normal, we have all been there even if some people keep it behind closed doors.

One of the biggest reasons that lead us to that decision is anxiety, which sometimes it can trigger depression. This is because living with GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) affects our day-to-day activities for instance, chronically worrying excessively over things that are unlikely to happen. Personally, this is something that I have learned to live with most of my life that has interfered with my ability to function and relax which has caused my energy to drain easily, lack of sleep, and wearing my body out. If you are feeling the same symptoms, please do seek for help.

♥ Point 2: How people makes us feel

Many young people feel depressed because of how people treat them. At least 4,400 young people in the US commit suicide per year and for every suicide, there are at least 100 suicides attempted according to the bullying statistics.org. These are scary numbers and the fact that this can happen not only in schools but also in work places and even at home, it is even more frightening. Therefore, it is important to always check on our loved ones as well as let someone close to us aware of the situation if we experience such things. No one deserves to be bullied in any way, shape or form, no matter who you are, where you are from and what you choose to do with your life.

Whether you get physically or mentally abused, you should never stay quiet and keep it to yourself, and they should not get away with it. It is a crime and immoral to harm another human being. We were not born in this world to become someone’s punching bag. Feel safe, be safe.

♥ Point 3: Broken relationships

So often we trust the wrong people in our lives, these are usually the people so close to us, family and friends. I myself have experienced it countless of times, this including the ones that were supposed to protect me from getting hurt. When this happens we feel betrayed, but remember there are a lot of demons in this world disguised as human beings, and the problem is not you, it is them because good people do not go around destroying other people’s lives. I may say that friends do come and go, blood is no longer thicker than water and like 2 Pac said “Life goes on…” and it really does! Trust me, nothing is ever permanent, this includes our current situation.

So, if someone wishes you bad things, you prove them wrong because words can only make us stronger, and if you have a good heart and someone tries to curse your life, it will not work because your soul is pure. I’ve had so many curses thrown at me wishing for me not to do well in life, and I’m still here working towards achieving my dreams, and I’m already half way there, so don’t worry about what others want from you, worry about what you want for yourself.

♥ Point 4: The lack of self-love

Having self-love is important, when we lose that we stop taking care of ourselves which leads us into not having good health. We start developing serious mental issues and physical issues with our bodies, we see ourselves different than what we are in front of the mirror leading to other illnesses such anorexia and bulimia, obesity and many more. We also can lose friendships as no one likes to be surrounded by self pity/self inflict behaviours. Therefore, it is important that we learn to love ourselves in order to move forwards in bettering ourselves.

“I waste at least an hour everyday lying in bed.

Then I waste time pacing. I waste time thinking.

I waste time being quiet and not saying anything,

because I’m afraid I’ll stutter.”

Moving forwards…

♥ Find happiness within yourself, you must learn to love yourself before loving others. Think about it, every life has a purpose.

♥ Do talk to someone about your feelings, whether they are good thoughts or terrifying ones, share it with someone who truly understands you. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, I am here for you…remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

♥ Like they say, “home is where the heart is“. Find yourself surrounded by positive people, build your home where your heart is happy.

♥  The best way to overcome depression is by finding a hobby. This will help your mind to have a rest from overthinking.

♥ Never allow a bitter person transmit their hatred disease onto you. Let your spirt be free, it lifts a heavy weight off your shoulders and you will find out that you can achieve your dreams in a much healthier way.

♥ It might sound pathetic but when I’m sad I feel like looking at memes and funny videos makes me laugh at my hardest times also, exercising and practicing yoga improves not only my physical health but also my mental health. You should definitely try those tips.

♥ And of course the newest trend, get a fidget spinner, I do not own one but I’ve heard that it is good for stress relief.

❤

“My condolences to anyone who has ever lost me and to anyone who got lost in me or, to anyone who ever felt they took a loss with me.
My apologies for the misunderstanding or the lack there of, I’m sorry you missed the God in me and I’m sorry you missed the light,
I’m sorry you forgot the way I arose like the moon. Night after night with the burden to forgive. Eager to feed you everything. See, I’m a holy woman. I know what it’s like to give life to a being without ever needing to press skin against one another. I’ve practiced how to hold my tongue long enough. I’m afraid I forgot to say goodbye. I’m afraid you’re under the impression that I was made to please you
I was under the impression you understood me better.
The truth is, I’m a superwoman
And some days I’m an angry woman
And some days I’m a crazy woman
For still waiting, for still loving harder even if I’m aching
For still trusting that I’m still worth the most
For still searching for someone to understand me better”

– Kehlani

Remember, never let anyone bring you down…you are a diamond, not just an ordinary stone :*

XOXO Anita